Relato: “Me senti um gatilho ambulante”

Esse texto aqui vai ser arquivado na categoria ‘é muito comum, mas sempre acusam a gente de estar inventando’. Acusar alguém de causar um ataque de pânico é, além de muito sério, algo que não faz o menor sentido. Ninguém é responsável pela saúde mental de outra pessoa, principalmente estranhos com quem você nunca interagiu previamente. Se é verdade ou não que a menina em questão teve mesmo um ataque de pânico – nós aqui temos nossas dúvidas – esse vitimismo é uma tática de controle emocional comum no movimento trans e muito efetiva contra mulheres. Mas fato é que não foi a Cristina que causou.

Hoje em dia é chocante afirmar isso, é polêmico, mas lá vai: você pode ouvir ideias com as quais não concorda sem que isso lhe cause pânico. Mas só se toda a sua autopercepção (sua “identidade”) não for baseada no sofrimento. O sofrimento como definidor de uma identidade política causa aberrações como essa aqui, em que a ficcionalização da pessoa sobre a sua própria vida – às vezes em tempo real – faz ela experienciar situações extremamente banais como dolorosas e traumáticas. O que não quer dizer que sejam de fato traumatizantes – ou, pior ainda, que alguém seja responsável pelo suposto trauma.

Relato: “Me senti um gatilho ambulante”

por Cristina Delfina

Militante viveu situação surreal em plenária do movimento

Faço parte, há cerca de dois anos, de um movimento de mulheres organizado de um partido de esquerda. Escolhi somar nesse movimento em específico depois de ter conhecido companheiras se pronunciando bastante enfaticamente contra a pornografia e a prostituição num evento, pautas que sempre considerei fundamentais dentro do feminismo. Nesse dia, sentamos para tomar uma cerveja e falar sobre política, até que elas me convidaram a conhecer a atuação do movimento na minha cidade.

Sou feminista e já fiz parte de um coletivo feminista radical que fez ações importantes para a história do feminismo radical no Brasil, de forma que pra mim não faria sentido algum esconder essa minha trajetória. O próprio movimento que integro se orgulha bastante em rejeitar obscurantismos de linha política que cada vez são mais comuns na esquerda, e que inserem muitas visões liberais no nosso campo.

Assim, cheguei na minha primeira reunião e, ao me apresentar, conversei com as companheiras sobre a minha trajetória política ao longo de cerca de 4 anos de militância em coletivos autônomos e como secundarista (que já vai fazer um boom tempo hein), pensando em maneiras de somar e ajudar a construir compartilhando alguns desses acúmulos. A reunião foi muito bacana, conheci uma mulherada que hoje admiro bastante, e passei a integrar o movimento.

Nunca sofri nenhuma represália do movimento por “ter sido” feminista radical (porque ainda sou né), inclusive algumas companheiras com quem tive mais contato sempre me procuraram com dúvidas, pedindo algum tipo de material, etc.

Dois anos depois, já integrando o movimento e participando das reuniões tarefas, fui para uma das plenárias periódicas do movimento (uma reunião maior onde toda a região se reúne para discutir a atuação e direcionamentos). Ali todas são convidadas a se pronunciarem e fazerem falas direcionadas sobre o assunto das mulheres, e eu assim o fiz. Falei sobre a urgência da militância abolicionista da prostituição, inclusive (mas isso é outra história).

Tudo muito bem, tudo muito bom, até que mal terminada a reunião, uma pessoa que eu não conhecia, auto-identificada como “homem não-binário” (?), me puxou para conversar. Ali no meio da sala da plenária ela (1), no meio de todas as pessoas, mal se introduziu e muito rapidamente começou uma conversa, e parecia estar bastante incomodada.

O diálogo foi bem esquisito, algo como “oi Cristina Delfina, lembro de você da plenária de 2018”, e eu respondi algo como “Oi?? 2018?? Mas não lembro de ter ido em plenária em 2018”

“Você foi sim, eu lembro de você, você é feminista radical”

“Em 2018?”

“Sim, em 2018. Eu lembro de você porque era a minha primeira plenária e quando te vi falando, passei muito mal. Tive uma crise de pânico e fui embora.”

“Eita!”

“Mas queria conversar hoje sobre isso. Naquele dia você me causou uma crise de pânico, mas isso me fez ter vontade de entrar aqui e lutar pelas pessoas trans e não-binárias. Queria dizer que estou feliz que você tenha entrado pro movimento e não seja mais desse jeito [transfóbica]”

Eu, meio tonta até, achando a situação e bastante da estranha, respirei fundo e respondi:

“Olha fulane, eu sinto muito se alguém já tenha te ofendido a ponto do simples fato de citar a palavra feminismo radical te deixar nesse estado. Eu não sou responsável pelo que todas as pessoas que dizem ser feministas radicais falam por aí, especialmente as que não tão vinculadas a nenhuma organização que eu conheça. Mas com relação à minha atuação, eu posso garantir em nome da minha coletiva e a de todas as coletivas que estivemos trabalhando em conjunto, que nosso movimento sempre agiu com responsabilidade política e não tem nada que eu me arrependa de ter feito. Inclusive mantenho as minhas visões políticas e ideais aqui nesse espaço, como o meu posicionamento abolicionista com relação a prostituição. Esse posicionamento aqui, que eu defendo, é um posicionamento que inclusive a militância trans não fala, mas as feministas radicais falam. Você mesmo afirmou mais cedo no na sua fala que sua população está sendo empurrada para a prostituição pela extrema vulnerabilidade. São as feministas radicais que estão lutando pra que a prostituição seja tratada como tem que ser, como uma situação de marginalidade extrema e nunca uma escolha…”

“Ah, é mesmo… realmente, vou ver esse material aí”

E aí minha gente, aqui o negócio vira fanfic. Consegui direcionar a conversa pra esse ponto da prostituição (suando gelado com a possibilidade de ser escrachada), e ela acabou concordando comigo. Eu disse que iria embora, e nós nos abraçamos (sério).

Saí correndo dali (rs), me bateu uma tontura e quase vomitei (fico assim em situações de nervosismo), entrei no metrô e comecei a pensar. “Que coisa mais estranha essa, ninguém vai acreditar se eu contar essa história…” [Nota da editora, nunca acreditam né? Pros trans basta a convicção, pra gente nem com as provas…]

Respirei fundo e fiquei muito triste, chorei bastante (sou emocionada). Aquilo me tocou muito, e eu comecei a questionar tudo. Minha vida toda, meu primeiro contato com feminismo radical. Será que eu estive errada o tempo todo? Como a minha existência pode causar um sofrimento tão profundo em alguém? “Como eu vim parar aqui?”

Quando a editora Adriane Rica me convidou a fazer esse relato, achei que ia dizer alguma bobeirinha sobre essa história que, afinal de contas, é bem engraçada. Mas escrevendo esse texto me dei conta de como a maioria das pessoas não fazem ideia do que é uma feminista radical no mundo que a gente não tem avatares e personas pra recorrer. Pra surpresa dos não-binários, nos intervalos que tenho entre puxar o pé de criancinha de baixo da cama, sou uma pessoa assim… bem normal. Ok, talvez não tão normal assim, mas sou gente boa e engraçadinha (minha mãe me acha engraçada). Sou uma pessoa que faz uma faculdade normal e tem um trabalho normal, vou pros mesmos bares e baladas (sombrios) que os jovens normais vão e bebo as mesmas bebidas de gosto duvidoso que os jovens normais bebem. Tenho amigos militantes e amigos zero politizados, duas gatas e já fiz um monte de besteira que me arrependo (nenhuma delas relacionadas à pauta trans taokei?)

Quando entrei pra um coletivo feminista radical aos 18 anos, tudo que procurava era algum lugar pra fazer militância real, que se propusesse a fazer discussões sérias e profundas sobre os sofrimentos e violências que nos conectam (e tenho muito orgulho de tudo que construímos nesse coletivo). Com 18 anos eu não fazia ideia que uma escolha política, dentro da esquerda, poderia nos botar uma marca de desgraçada pro resto da vida. Vi amigas perderem o emprego por serem feministas radicais, vi amigas serem escrachadas na própria faculdade por serem feministas radicais, vi amigas negras sendo chamadas de mucamas por serem feministas radicais. Sofri todo tipo de olhar, fui vetada previamente de todo tipo de espaço, e, claro, sofri de todo tipo de opinião não solicitada e pouco embasada sobre meus posicionamentos políticos. Essas coisas me afetaram, me afetam, mas ver uma adolescente que diz ter sofrido UM ATAQUE DE PÂNICO ao me ouvir falar o simples termo tenebroso “feminismo radical” me abalou demais. Fiquei assim, mexida, porque tudo que eu quero, enquanto feminista que um dia vai ser uma feminista velha, é poder contribuir pra que de alguma forma as meninas mais novas não precisem passar pelo sofrimento e pela jornada que eu passei, que passamos.

Tudo que eu quero, enquanto militante e enquanto sobrevivente da violência masculina, é que as meninas de agora não precisem de múltiplos avisos de gatinho num contexto de organização e movimento entre mulheres. Quero que as meninas consigam se colocar num debate, pensar fora da caixa, questionar as estruturas, sem precisar passar pelos traumas e violências reais que passamos pra chegar neste lugar de compreensão, nem precisar transformar suas experiências (estranhas) de adolescência num lugar de trauma personificado na figura de mulheres que na verdade só estão vivendo as suas vidas e atuando politicamente. Se for preciso, até peço desculpas, mas pedir desculpas pelo quê?

*marcamos esse texto como humor porque só rindo mesmo, mas é tudo real, infelizmente.

(1) estou usando ela como quem se dirige a uma pessoa, portanto no feminino. Uso esse distanciamento por conta da salada teórica dessa mistura de pronomes, que não quero que seja a questão desse texto.

Post criado 38

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  33. 2. Нанося карандаш, глаза желательно не закрывать. Этим вы контролируете процесс и смотрите, как выглядит линия на открытых глазах, а не на опущенных веках, потому что результат может быть не таким как надо. Вы просто приподнимите голову и немного опустите веки и в таком положении с открытыми глазами красьте веки. Выполните на глазах миндалевидную подводку с помощью автоматического карандаша для подводки глаз. Жидкую подводку никогда не наносят на слизистую оболочку нижнего века, так как она не только размывается, но и может вызвать раздражение. Нижнее веко жидкой подводят так же, как и верхнее, ориентируясь на линию роста ресниц. Прежде чем наносить тени или тушь, убедитесь, что подводка полностью высохла. На главную страницу Главное — это тренировка. Если не получается накрасить глаза подводкой с первого раза, получится с пятого. Если не получается с пятого раза — получится с десятого! В этом не сомневайтесь, главное не бросайте свои тренировки и каждый день пробуйте выводить стрелки или просто подводить глаза. Не вышло — стираем и начинаем заново или откладываем на завтра. https://wiki-wire.win/index.php?title=Массажер_для_скул Нанести утром и вечером на ресницы с помощью щеточки. Может использоваться как база под тушь. Сыворотка для ресниц (9 мл) В состав сыворотки входят: Косметика из Южной Кореи с доставкой по России ОФИЦИАЛЬНЫЙ ДИСТРИБЬЮТОР КОРЕЙСКОЙ КОСМЕТИКИ В корзине нет товаров Содержит экстракты ягод и пантенол, которые ухаживают за ресницами, делают их упругими и крепкими, предотвращая выпадение. Питают корни ресничек, ускоряя их рост. ·         Новая Почта (бесплатная доставка на отделение для заказов на сумму от 599 грн. Если сумма заказа меньше, покупатель оплачивает от 30-40 грн за доставку)Вы можете выбрать доставку на отделение Новой Почты или же доставку курьером на Ваш физический адрес. Способ применения: наносить утром и вечером на ресницы. Нанести утром и вечером на ресницы с помощью щеточки. Можно использовать как базу под тушь или как закрепляющий верхний слой для туши.

  34. While the Consumer Guarantees Act and Fair Trading Act provide the basis for The Warehouse’s returns policy, we in fact go above and beyond the expectation of these two statutory laws. The Warehouse has a 60 day Money Back Guarantee with printed proof of purchase. For a product to be returned under our policy, that product must be in a resalable condition unless faulty or otherwise defective. It’s this policy that provides you peace of mind while shopping at The Warehouse. The delivery cost for your order is displayed in your online shopping Cart as an estimated delivery cost. This will be the lowest possible rate until you are logged in and enter your delivery address. Once we know your delivery address, the estimated cost will change to a final delivery cost in the order summary. https://murvual.com/discussion/profile/tami99750439619/ В© 2022 RETAILBOSS INC. All Rights Reserved. Dats right, I can finally confirm that @fentybeauty is officially joining the @ultabeauty fam!! March 6th pic.twitter.com IGCYmafhOB COP THE LATEST FENTY COUPLE GOALZ We’re really into Rihanna’s maternity style, and the mom-to-be is really into Messika (read our Q&A with the brand’s founder here)! Fenty Beauty has garnered an overwhelmingly positive reception for its inclusive shade range that includes 50 choices for select products, namely foundations and concealers. Several Fenty Beauty products are also vegan, fragrance-free and sensitive skin-friendly. Calling all Rihanna stans and Ulta loyalists alike — as of March 6, Fenty Beauty has officially landed at an Ulta store near you. All rights reserved. Operated by Pantheon Media Group LLC under license of Mondadori Media S.p.A. Reproduction in any manner in any language in whole or in part without prior written permission is prohibited. Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Service, Privacy Policy and Cookies Policy. People may receive compensation for some links to products and services. Offers may be subject to change without notice.

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  37. Siemaneczko podobnie jak wybitny przodownik pracy nazywam się Irek. Adwokat Rzeszów- spytaj jak Ci mogę przynieść ulgę. Na czas dzisiejszy moim miejscem przebywania jest rewelacyjne miasto Dębno. Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- bieżące prawo i duże modyfikacje dla zadłużonych.

  38. Medical marijuana is legal in some form in a majority of states. And more than 10 states and Washington, DC, have legalized recreational pot. But the federal government’s ban on marijuana has made it hard to study its effects on humans. Limited research shows that medicinal pot might help: Smoking cannabis frequently over a long period of time can damage your lungs, particularly if you hold the smoke in after inhaling. Daily or near-daily use of cannabis increases the risk of developing anxiety or depression, psychosis and schizophrenia. It could also affect your ability to become pregnant by disrupting menstrual cycles or reducing sperm count. Becoming dependent on cannabis is also a risk and many people who try to quit experience withdrawal symptoms such as irritability, sleeping difficulties, cravings and anxiety. https://messiahndsg219754.aboutyoublog.com/17227182/growing-marijuana-canada Contributions: RS conceptualized the paper and prepared the initial draft. BF provided intellectual contributions to and revised content of several drafts of the paper. All authors read and approved the final manuscript submitted. Funding Support: No funding support to declare. Cannabis shipping regulations are new to Canada and proper packaging is up to you. By getting up-to-speed with Health Canada’s regulations, you can streamline your cannabis shipping experience. Keep in mind that storing data in the Cloud or in proprietary software means there is likely transfer or storage of that personal information outside of Canada, which could then potentially be accessed by foreign law enforcement. Again, given the fact that cannabis use is not legal in most other jurisdictions, potential access to this data by foreign governments is of particular concern, which means it will generally be more privacy protective to store personal information on a server located in Canada.

  39. Yo nadano mi imię Sergiusz. Z moją poradą bez kłopotu zyskasz Adwokat Rzeszów. Na czas dzisiejszy moim miejscem egzystencji jest przepiękne miasto Ustka. Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- aktualne wyroki sądowe Adwokat Rzeszów w Polsce- ranking ofert cenowych obrońców.

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  41. Podczas gdy rząd stara się uniemożliwić polskim graczom hazard w zagranicznych kasynach online, istnieje wiele wygodnych lokalnych opcji bankowych, których mogą użyć do sfinansowania swoich kont w legalne kasyno internetowe w Polsce. Używamy plików cookie, aby jak najlepiej wykorzystać naszą stronę internetową. Kasyno internetowe, aby było legalnie działającym podmiotem musi posiadać odpowiednie licencje. W Europie takie dokumenty najczęściej wydawane sa przez rządy Giblartaru lub Malty. Na stronie każdego z legalnych kasyn, często w stopce, znajduje się stosowna informacja o posiadanych uprawnieniach. W pełni licencjonowane legalne kasyno w Polsce to takie, które jest w stanie zaoferować graczom wyższy poziom bezpieczeństwa, ponieważ jest to legalne kasyno PL, które kieruje się zestawem zasad i standardów stworzonych i wdrożonych w celu zbudowania bezpiecznej i uczciwej branży i-Gaming. Dlatego, ze względów bezpieczeństwa, ważne jest, aby gracze znajdowali i grali w legalne kasyna internetowe w Polsce, które są licencjonowane i regulowane przez najbardziej profesjonalne jurysdykcje licencyjne dotyczące hazardu online. https://wiki-neon.win/index.php?title=Internetowe_kasyno_totalizatora W Betsson darmowe gry kasyno i darmowe spiny są jak najbardziej dostępne dla graczy. Nie oznaczają jednak tego samego. Zbyt wielu ludzi zdaje się brać do serca poruszającą mowę Winstona Churchilla, że kursy ruletki są takie same. W innych czasach, są one technicznie uważane za nielegalne. We współczesnym świecie finansów konsumenckich ludzie mają więcej możliwości niż kiedykolwiek, keno losowanie na żywo która zawiera interaktywne uczestnictwo. Grając w oferowane przez nasze kasyno automaty online na pieniądze, będziesz mieć w wielu przypadkach następujące funkcje uatrakcyjniające rozgrywkę: Tylko tutaj możesz sprawdzić swoje szczęście nie tracąc przy tym swoich środków. Zagraj w kasyno gry za darmo na naszej stronie.

  42. In his keynote address, Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies founder Rick Doblin traced the path of psychedelic drugs “from legal to illegal, to medicines, to legal again.” He recalled a 1990 meeting with Timothy Leary who told him, “I’m long past the point of asking the government permission for anything, but I’m glad you’re doing it.” This, Doblin said, was ironically when a new regime at the FDA opened the doors to psychedelic research, and “we are now in the midst of a renaissance.” “There’s probably not a state anywhere that doesn’t have a funder or activist who isn’t watching our initiative closely,” says Chapman. “We know from cannabis that the first state to go is the one who becomes the model for the next ten years.” Chapman says he’s already heard whispers from folks interested in getting a similar psilocybin therapy initiative on the ballot in 2022 in states from Washington and Colorado to New York, and Florida. http://www.sbosiamedicolavoro.it/community/profile/mariannemonash1/ Photo credit: Vik Nanda I have bipolar 1. I dont take medicine. Never have for any length of time. I had a period in my 30s I was manic once a year. Always worked and supported my family. Quick trips to the hospital and back to work. Since amicably divorced. Cant smoke pot because of work. Tired of drinking 5 beers every night to relax. Working 60 hr weeks, and no mania for 3 years. I always wanted to try mushrooms but friends at the time told me not too because of my illness. Anyway, they dont test for mushrooms at work, will I “go round the bend” if i try them? I would love to get a different perspective. Larger studies have primarily asked current users about their experiences. One tapped more than a thousand microdosers who reported increased energy, better work results, and more positive moods. Another compared 4,000 microdosers to a similar group of nonusers and found that among people with prior mental-health issues, those who microdosed reported having lower levels of anxiety and depression.

  43. I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on yourblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize ityourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to seea nice blog like this one nowadays.